DISAPOINTMENT

I had a doctors appointment today. I am officially due to pop out this baby in one week and went it to be 'checked' by my OB/GYN. Exams of that sort are never anticipated, or welcomed. They can sometimes be cold and, well, obtrusive.

My appointment was for 11:30 and I arrived downtown with ten minutes to kill, which was a good thing. Finding parking was murder. People were driving like clowns and all the spots were taken. When I did find out, just outside of Bison books, the meter was broken and I took the chance of getting nabbed with a ticket because I could not give the city it's godddamn money for parking on it's goddamn street.

I didn't wait long in the waiting-room at the office. So many fat bellies in there. The place looks like it's full of human ducks, waddling around the chairs and other obsticals, the odd rug-rat nipping at someones ankles, the one or two new borns in strollers or on mommy's lap.

I was taken in quickly and told to strip from the waist down. I sat, nude with a paper blanket on me, waiting for the doctor. I had some hope - that she would come in a check me and tell me that I've been walking around two centimeters dilated and that I would pop this beach ball out soon. Instead, she told me I wasn't even one centimeter dilated yet. She must have seen the dissapointment in my face and in some odd attempt to give me hope, did tell me my cervix is thinning, which is a very good sign.

"It needs to thin before you can completely dilate"

Blah, blah,blah.

I was so frustrated from that appointment that I didn't even stop in at Bison books on the way to my car.

I picked up a few groceries and came back to this messy apartment. I have no desire to clean. I feel like I'm working against someone in that regard. Two of us live here - one of us cleans. Maybe, if I want to be passive-agressive, I'll start cleaning house when Punk Boy gets home from work and maybe, just maybe he'll fell obligated to help me. He told me to make a list and we'll tackle it but he works very hard durring the day and I don't want to pester him. Maybe this weekend... My mother has offered to come over next week and help me give the place a good clean, which I accepted who heartedly. I just don't have the energy or the ability with this baby-belly to do everything that needs to be done.

I have lunch in the oven and I am starving. Veggie chicken pattie and french fries. I don't want to eat healthy these days, I just want whatever is easy. There is nothing on the TV, so I might put in a movie to occupy my time... we'll see...