Heat, Lonely, Pride, and the Cranky Sleeping Baby

Its been a helluva weekend. My back is scorched from being outside in the sun. There is that familiar tightness between the shoulder blades that tells me, even without looking, that my flesh is a rosy pink. Punk Boy is away this weekend - out of town with work, so the sunburn is his fault. If he was here, someone would have been able to grease up my back with sunblock. Instead, I had to try by myself to smear the shit all over and get all the spots. Obviously, I failed.

It's the silly things that remind you of what life would be like if you were alone. With Punk Boy gone these last two days with work, I'm reminded every fucking moment just how much I rely on him and enjoy having him around. When the baby cries and I start to get frustrated, I can pass him off to Punk Boy. When I just don't have the time to take the two big bags of garbage down to the bin, Punk Boy can do it. When the knob on the shower in the bathroom breaks and I can't get it to turn, Punk Boy can do it (I haven't had a shower since Friday. I feel gross. I did sponge bathe myself in our sink yesterday but come on, we all know that's not a full clean). I miss him. Sure, he's gone away with work while we were dating and I've been fine with it. Heck, I probably relished it a few times. But now, with the Sea Monkey here, I miss him more than I realize. Watching some stupid movie last night, and right in the middle I cried because I realized he wouldn't be here to kiss me good night. Fuck, love hurts.

I really want to sleep but can't. Today was the first hot and sunny day of the summer and the sunburn on my back is only matched by the slight headache being out in the sun all afternoon has caused me. Nothing major, just need to drink more water. It is 17C right now - still fucking hot for night time and I'm finding it hard to sleep. The humidity is rising and I can feel it stuffing my nostrils. Not only am I fighting with sore skin on my back and a slight sun headache, but now I have to fight with a stuff nose as well. Fuck this.

Today was Winnipeg's Gay Pride Parade. I was down at the Legislative Grounds today with a shit load of other people for the Pride Rally and then the official Winnipeg Gay Pride Parade. I didn't march in the Parade as I had the Sea Monkey with me and was worried about the excessive heat and lack of shade on the parade route for him. So I stood back and took pictures of the event.
I'm not Gay/Lesbian/Transgendered/whatever else, but I usually go to the parade. At first I went because it was hip to be a single, young girl in the city with gay friends. It was the place to be. It was edgy. Over the years, its become a little bit more than that. I go because I believe in Gay Rights and I find it awful that people who love each other so deeply can't have the same rights as I do and can't have the same freedom to love as I do. I go to show support for my best friend, Ferocious Sonja, because I love her and support her in all she does. I don't tell her this enough. Shit I probably don't tell her at all, but that girl is a hero of mine. As long as I can remember, she has done things her way, with her head held high. She learns from mistakes, finds great joy in her adventures and just fucking lives, man. She fucking lives. I respect that, I am jealous of that.
I go because of her and this moral fiber shes created in me. Shes opened my mind up to things that I would probably not have given much thought to had our paths not ever crossed. Its rare, really. It's really rare to meet people who influence you so much in so many fantastic ways. I cherish it.

Maybe its my lonely mind talking... Who knows? Even if it is, it's coming from the heart and that's what counts. I miss Punk Boy when he's not here and I cherish my Ferocious one.

Sea Monkey was a great baby through the whole event, making me an even prouder mom. That kid amazes me. I pass him off to strangers and he goes with it. It's amazing. He had never met Ferocious Sonja's girl friend and dang, that baby just took to her. I can't blame the child - she's an amazing women with such a soft, gentle nature.
She seems wonderful for Ferocious Sonja - this calming mature lover. Their interactions are beautiful, so natural.

It's past midnight. The Sea Monkey is still sleeping. He was cranky this evening. Probably the heat, the lack of a father figure in the house. Hall and Oats are playing softly in the back ground. I've had this fucking song stuck in my head all day.

I can`t go for being twice as nice
I can`t go for just repeating the same old lines
Use the body, now you want my soul
Ooh, forget about it, now say no go, yeah

I, I`ll do anything that you want me to do, yeah
I`ll do almost anything that you want me too, yeah

But I can`t go for that, no no can do

I was afraid to put the Sea Monkey to sleep in his crib. I expected it to be a struggle. I laid him down, covered him with a light blanket, read him a short story, kissed him and left the room. There I waited for the battle of wits to begin, but not a peep was heard out of his little room. A check fifteen minutes later proved that the sweetheart was curled up on his side, sleeping soundly.

Peace.

And now I can't sleep.

Will have a tall, cool glass of apple juice, will blow my nose and try it again...

Punk Boy comes home tomorrow - I can't wait.