There is something off in me today. I am just overwhelmed lately by these feelings of sadness and my heart aches.
Winter woes, I suppose. We finally got our first decent snow fall of the winter. Strange, considering its January. By this time in the winter season, we are covered in feet of snow, the roads are a mess and ice coats everything. I'm sitting here in my living room, on the sofa looking outside of my window. I have a beautiful view, really do . I am over twenty flights up and my window gives me a fantastic view of both the Red and Assiniboine River, St. Boniface (our french quarter) and a lovely park just across the street. Everything is covered with white.
We had a brown Christmas this year. First Christmas in a while where I can remember seeing grass. I was too busy to give it much thought. I did notice that travel over the holidays didn't give me heartburn. I suppose that counts for something.
My view, out of our living room window has been frosted white. Is this what is causing me to feel, well, sad? Or am I just tired? What the heck is wrong with me?
This blog post is going no where. I had high hopes for it, I really did, but as I'm sitting here, writing this, I'm losing it and the post is going nowhere. I like to think I have enough writing ability to know when I'm on a sinking ship and baby, this is starting to feel like the Titanic. Disaster is inevitable. Should I keep going to see just how epic it is? Maybe, by destroying my chances of completing a coherent post, I might somehow come back from the dark side and redeem myself.
I need to return to my theme, which as per my title is Winter Woes.
I'm sad that my feet are constantly wet. My own fault as my winter boots just didn't make it past last winter and my search for boots this year has been slow at best. Hard to think about boots when you've had no snow to battle with. But now, that we have snow and its half frozen and half melted, I suppose I need something. Cold wet feet just won't do it.
I've been dying to see Hunter enjoy the snow outside, but it's so wet and messy we haven't really had the chance to take him out that much. Kiddo is dying, I mean dying to go outside and make snow angels. He wants to slide down hills on his sled and drink hot chocolate outside. He hasn't had a chance to do much of that this season. He got a pair of ice skates for Christmas and we haven't even gone to get them sharpened as there is really no outside rinks to take him too.
There is hope, there is a light at the end of the winter tunnel. With the mild season we've been having, we won't be a frozen barren waste land for long. We are usually getting out first snow shortly after Halloween. The snow starts to stay around end of November. I remember going to the hospital to give birth to Hunter on November 25th and there was a soft dusting of snow on the ground, and shiny glittery snow flakes falling softly on my skin. Our six months of Winter will be cut to three or four. I can make it, I can deal.
So why the sad vibes? Maybe I just need some fresh air, some movement?
Christmas is gone from this house - the tree has been taken down, the stockings have been put into storage and I feel just that much closer to spring, that much closer to breaking free...