I have a dilemma. It's a simple one.
When I started this blog five or so years ago, I never really had a clear focus point for it. The early entries ranged from strange picture and poetry posts to the ones you seem more regularly from me - long winded diatribes on things that I notice around me and that are going on in my life right now. That is what this blog has become and that where I'd like it to stay.
So now, here comes the dilemma. I've recently started a pretty hard core diet/exercise program in an attempt to lose weight. It's no secret that I need to do this for my overall health and well being and I've been trying to find a program that works for me for a while now. Unfortunately, I haven't had any success with it. I would lose a little bit and then would gain it back in a heartbeat. I'd suffer some sort of downfall, either mentally or physically and I'd end up back at square one. It's enough to really frustrate a girl and I never wanted to fill this blog with those ramblings. I didn't feel they fit with what I was doing here.
But maybe I was wrong. They do fit in with what I am doing with this blog. This is something that is happening to me, daily and something I will never have an escape from. I will always have to watch everything I put in my mouth and be careful of what I decided to ingest. I'm not one of those lucky people who can eat anything they wish and not pay for it in some fashion. I've learned this about myself over the years. I know this about myself, so why can't I apply it and stick to it every day of my life?
I'm human I suppose and stresses get to me. Those are the moments when I fail my diet and return to the bad habits that have put me in this situation to begin with.
I made a vow to myself this new years to try and get healthy, to try and drop some of this weight. At the least, I wanted to make healthy decisions about my life and in turn, pass those down to my son.
So in truth, this is what I'm debating. Do I want to record this part of my life here, for all to see? Those who know and and those who don't, or is this something that just doesn't fit here? Part of me thinks sharing it here will make me more accountable, but then it might just do the opposite. I might avoid this blog all together if things don't work as well as I am hoping.
This is an issue many people deal with, and like me, have trouble with. I'm doing great on my plan right now and have dropped a total of fifteen pounds since I started the program. So I'm debating, I'm thinking, I'm pondering and I'm still not sure if this is something I want to get into here. But if it seems like something I should add to this, my life ramblings, then why not?
Food for thought, I guess..